Elon Musk is taking a cat nap on the floor of the Oval Office when Trump arrives.
T: Good morning! How’s the richest man in the world doing today?
M: Great! How’s the most powerful man in the world doing?
T: Great! We’re an awesome team, aren’t we?
M: You bet! The woodchipper is just getting started.
T: We took care of foreign aid. All those liberals are crying a river. They don’t understand that money and power are all that matter in this world. When you’ve got them by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow.
M: Right. The environmental agencies, too. They just get in the way. We need to free the free markets and let it rip.
T: Absolutely! Ukraine, too. Before long, we’ll own the part the Russians don’t control. Those poor losers won’t know what hit them.
M: National parks! Who needs natural wonders on this planet when we can go to Mars!
T: You got that right. Real Americans love steel and glass, not trees and waterfalls. We’ll have plenty of skyscrapers on Mars, I’m sure. An even bigger and better Trump Tower!
M: We kicked ass in the VA, too. So much waste and fraud!
T: That might not have been the greatest idea. Vets love me. We need to break things, but not everything.
M: We’ll try to fix that. What’s next?
T: Germany! I hate those people. They sell us cars, enjoy our protection, and give us nothing but lectures in return. Let’s get the woodchipper going as soon as possible!
M: I thought you were German.
T: No. I’m Swedish. Everyone knows that.
M: Then what?
T: California! The enemy within!
M: Can’t you just imagine Newsom being run through a woodchipper?
T: It doesn’t get any better than that! (He leaves to watch programming on Fox; Elon gets back to work)