J: Why are you looking so down, Alex?
H: It’s that idiot Trump and his war on free speech. What he really wants is to limit free speech to morons who worship him.
J: But you supported the Sedition Act! Why are you so upset about Trump?
H: I wasn’t responsible for the Sedition Act–that was my party, not me. I was a progressive for my day on free speech. I was the lawyer on an important free speech case before free speech was a thing.
J: That’s not what I heard. Some historians say you were a big supporter of the Act.
H: I’ll let the historians work that one out. Anyway, your hands aren’t exactly clean, either.
J: What do you mean?
H: First of all, you used public funds to set up an opposition newspaper when you were in the cabinet.
J: Guilty as charged, but at least I was on the side of free speech, even if you didn’t like it.
H: And of course, your slaveholder buddies, and their Jim Crow descendants, did everything they could to prevent any public discussion of the rights of racial minorities in the South. First it was just in the South, and then they made it a national cause.
J: That was my friends, not me.
H: The New York Times v. Sullivan case only came about because your white racist populist friends wanted to muzzle any discussion of the Civil Rights Movement. It is proof of the proper limits on democracy.
J: My racist friends are a bit of an embarrassment to me. But that’s not me.
H: And Trump is presiding over their revival.
J: Which we both deplore.
H: Trump wants to govern the republic of ignorance. He thinks some fool with no credentials on the internet has more expertise than a real expert. Guess how that will turn out?
J: I never dreamed that populism would come to that.
H: Can we at least agree that Trump needs to go?
J: I’m on board with that.