The fake interview continues after Vance is announced as Trump’s VP choice.
C: Congratulations! Or would you prefer condolences?
V: Well, the job has been described as a bucket of warm spit.
C: Why do you think Trump chose you?
V: You really should ask him that question. If I had to guess, I would say it’s because we’re ideologically compatible, and because I just like the guy. It also didn’t hurt that his son likes me.
C: Why did you agree to it? Do you really want to relive the Mike Pence experience?
V: Pence was obsequious, to be sure, but he really wasn’t on the same wavelength as Trump. I am. I won’t have to suck up to Trump because we believe the same things.
C: Lots of people–Bolton and Barr particularly come to mind–thought that Trumpism was an ideology, and they could help refine it. They found out that Trumpism was just about Donald Trump, with all of his many weaknesses included. Why would your experience be different than theirs?
V: Let’s break that down into chunks. As to Bolton, he never really agreed with the premises of Trump’s foreign policy. Trump just used him as a bad cop. Barr was a bit different, but in the end, he thought the law should prevail over politics. He didn’t understand that everything was about power, and you had to do everything you could to hang on to it.
C: Trump will love that last response. He doesn’t have any respect for the law. You’re a lawyer by training, but it appears you agree with him.
V: I’m not in law school anymore. I’m a realist. The left cares about nothing but power. We have to fight fire with fire or die trying.
C: Do you see your job as creating a coherent reactionary ideology out of Trumpism, as opposed to relying on the whims of one dude?
V: Yes, although I don’t think it will be that hard. On the big issues, we’re in complete agreement.
C: Those being Ukraine, China, tariffs, the border, and revenge against the left?
V: Yes.
C: As everyone knows, there was a time when you despised Trump. And your book made the case that the problem was with white workers themselves; the government was only guilty of sticking its nose where it didn’t belong. How do you explain your total change in position, which looks like opportunism to lots of people?
V: I had an epiphany. Read the Douthat interview. It explains everything. I didn’t want to be on the side of businessmen who wanted to screw over their workers.
C: Like Peter Thiel?
V: Peter isn’t like that.
C: You claim to be pro-worker, and yet you support tax cuts for the wealthy and oppose unions. How does that make sense?
V: We’re going to raise wages through tariffs and the deportation of illegals.
C: Tariffs don’t result in higher wages–just inefficiency and higher profits for big business. Have you read anything about the 1890s?
V: Enough to know what I know.
C: Lots of prominent economists have said that tariffs and deportations will cause inflation and higher interest rates. Do you claim to know more than they do?
V: They’re just members of the entitled elite. They’ve been wrong about everything else. Why wouldn’t they be wrong about this?
C: Because logic tells you that will happen. The labor shortages of 2021 and 2022 are recent proof. How did that turn out?
V: We’ll bring millions of people back into the workforce with higher wages. That will solve the inflation problem.
C: Yeah, I can just imagine going back to work at age 66 in a meatpacking plant because they’re paying $25 an hour. There is no pool of unemployed workers except–unfortunately for you–immigrants. How ’bout them apples?
V: There may be some short-term pain. In the end, it will be worth it. We need to take our country back. That’s more important that economic growth.
C: How will you respond when the Democrats use your words from 2016 against you and Trump? Particularly about dictatorship?
V: Trump won’t be a dictator. His first term proves that.
C: But he was talked out of any number of authoritarian actions by the adults in the room. They won’t be there in a second term. He’ll be free to do whatever he wants as long as the military follows his orders.
V: The judicial system will restrain him.
C: What, the man who violated the gag order ten times?
V: You just have to trust us. We’ve earned your trust.
C: Thanks for your time. I may want to ask questions about foreign policy at a later date.