Trump is back at Trump Tower with one of his Secret Service agents after the trial.
SS: Wow, bad day, boss!
T: At least I’m free now. I don’t have to sit in that cold courtroom with all those fascists and communists anymore. I’m back in control again. I can go out and campaign again. I can focus on kicking Biden’s ass.
SS: It must be hard, sitting in this place, to think of yourself as a common convicted felon.
T: I’M NOT! I’M A VICTIM OF A RIGGED SYSTEM! THE JUDGE WAS CORRUPT AND THE PROSECUTORS ARE ANIMALS! THE JURORS WERE ALL MANHATTAN LIBERALS! I HAD NO CHANCE!
SS: So what are you going to do about it?
T: I WANT REVENGE! I’LL GET ELECTED, AND THEN I’LL PUT ALL THOSE PEOPLE IN JAIL! BIDEN WILL NEVER SEE THE LIGHT OF DAY AGAIN!
SS: What does this have to do with Biden? The Manhattan DA doesn’t work for him.
T: OF COURSE HE DOES! THEY ALL DO! THEY’RE ALL ON THE SAME TEAM, AND THEY’RE MAKING AMERICA A BANANA REPUBLIC! THAT’S WHY I HAVE TO WIN THE ELECTION–TO CLEAN HOUSE AND START OVER AGAIN!
SS: I thought you were supposed to be running to help the American people with stuff like inflation. You make it sound like the campaign is only about your personal grievances.
T: I’m bigger than America. It’s all about me. If I do well, the little people will do OK.
SS: Well, I just hope you don’t go to jail.
T: Why do you care?
SS: Because I’ll have to serve the time with you to protect you. You’re not that popular with those people, you know.
T: Well, just make sure to vote for me in November. That will keep you out of jail for sure.
SS: I’ll keep that in mind.