Thank you for your interest in coming to the United States. Please answer a few simple questions to establish your eligibility for a visa:
- Muhammad was: (a) God’s prophet; or (b) the former heavyweight champion of the world.
- The wall will be built and paid for by (fill in the blank).
- The mainstream American media are: (a) biased; (b) crooked; (c) disgusting; (d) all of the above.
- Barack Hussein Obama was born in (place name).
- Ivanka and Melania are (provide a number).
- Identify the developer who remade the Manhattan skyline and singlehandedly made New York the greatest city in the world.
- Hillary Clinton belongs in (fill in the blank).
- Vladimir Putin is: (a) an elected dictator; or (b) a good friend to the US in the war against Islamic extremism.
- Terrorists and their sympathisers should be: (a) tortured; (b) sent to Gitmo; (c) tried by military commissions; (d) all of the above.
- The new tax cut will: (a) explode the deficit, cause interest rates to skyrocket, and cause a recession; or (b) create a growth spurt unknown in modern history.
The correct answers are: 1(b); 2. Mexico; 3. (d); 4. Kenya; 5. 10; 6. Donald J. Trump; 7. jail; 8. (b); 9.(d); 10. (b). If you got all of these right, congratulations! You are a true friend to America, and you are free to enter.