C: The Trump hush money trial starts tomorrow. As of today, Trump has a very slim lead over Biden in most reputable polls. How are the two of you feeling?
M: Depressed.
S: Optimistic, but worried.
C: Let’s start with you, Mark. Why are you depressed?
M: Look at the choice I’m facing! Biden wants to increase my taxes. Trump won’t do that, but his tariffs and his hatred of electric cars are going to do a lot of damage to my business. The car companies have already made the leap to electric. America can’t possibly build millions of gas-powered cars every year when the rest of the world is building electric. It doesn’t make any sense.
S: Sure it does! When we make America great again, it won’t need any help! We can just tell the rest of the world where to go!
C: Will you be voting for Biden or Trump? Or maybe a third party?
M: I haven’t decided. It depends on what happens between now and November. The third parties don’t have anything to offer me. One thing is for sure–my wife is going to vote for Biden.
S: I always said you were a RINO. Now you’re proving it.
M: If you define the Republican Party as a group that gives unconditional support to Trump to do whatever he wants instead of an ideological group with a consistent set of beliefs, I guess I am a RINO.
C: Will the outcome of the trial influence your decision?
M: Probably. I’m not comfortable voting for a felon.
S: The trial is rigged. Trump can’t get a fair hearing from those Marxists in Manhattan. I don’t care how it turns out–he’s my man.
C: So why are you worried?
S: Because of people like Mark. If Trump is convicted, it could cost him the election. The polls are already too close as it is.
C: What do you think of Trump’s latest flip-flop on abortion?
S: I’m totally OK with it. Anything that wins him the election is OK with me.
C: I thought you said you were pro-life.
S: I’m totally pro-Trump. He needs power to get what he wants. If being a little soft on abortion gets him there, fine. He can always change his mind after the election.
C: Who should be his running mate?
S: I don’t care. Anyone who can get him more votes in November. I’ll support Don Jr. in 2028, so it’s not like I’m committing to the VP choice as the next party leader.
C: I’ll see you both in a few months.