Making Plans for Nigel

Only Donald Trump could come up with the idea that he could somehow direct the British government to appoint someone of his choosing as the new ambassador to the United States.   For his next trick, he will probably be telling the Scots not to approve any wind farms around his golf course–or else.

Being an American overseas is going to be very embarrassing, at best, for the next four years.

A Limerick on Trump and Sisi

The Middle East man known as Sisi.

He and Trump will soon be kissy-kissy.

When the stuff hits the fan

Will the Don have a plan?

Don’t expect things to be quite so blissy.

Trump Versus the World: Egypt

His name notwithstanding, Sisi is Trump’s kind of guy:  a strong man terrorist fighter.  Of course, he has no idea how to run his country, and he has been far more successful at muzzling democratic dissenters than at killing terrorists, but for Trump, those are just details.

Down the road, the real question is, what happens when the Egyptians get sick of Sisi?  How does Trump react when masses of people start going out on the streets again?  Is he going to send American troops to shoot them down?  Will the US and Russia work together to suppress democratic forces throughout the Middle East on the grounds that ostensibly democratic movements inevitably lead to chaos and terrorism?

Don’t be surprised if it happens.

White is the New Black

A few months ago, I posed this question:  is America a mosaic or a sheet of ruled paper?  We have our answer;  the election was decided by white people who have concluded that the system is stacked against them and in favor of minorities.  There are no data to support that, but one never wants to let the facts get in the way of a good story.

And so, it is true:  white is the new black, at least in American politics.

A Limerick on the AG To Be

The AG-in-waiting Jeff Sessions.

To his critics Trump’s made no concessions.

On matters of race

He’s a very tough case.

He’ll use torture to get more confessions.

Trump Versus the World: China

Ironically, the Chinese curse “May you live in interesting times” will apply to China itself in its dealings with the new Trump Administration.

On the down side, of course, you have the likelihood of a trade war, which would dramatically reduce Chinese exports and create some potential for social instability at home.  Trump’s temper and unpredictability also make an actual shooting war over slights to American pride a real possibility.  On the other hand, Trump’s lack of interest in human rights will be a distinct plus, his rejection of the TPP gives China a huge opening to create its own geopolitical rules in the Pacific Rim area, and his statements about protecting South Korea and Japan suggest that he will pull back from Asia and tolerate a Chinese sphere of influence there.  Finally, his unpredictability will damage American credibility throughout the world, and make stable Chinese leadership look like a viable alternative.

Yes, on balance, if Trump actually does what he promised to do, he will be making China, not America, great again.

Trump Versus the World: Cuba

Trump has, of course, been bitterly critical of Obama’s Cuba diplomacy for opportunistic reasons.  Will he really attempt to renegotiate the deal when he takes office?

I doubt it.  Trump doesn’t care about human rights.  Cuba doesn’t sponsor terrorism or run a large trade surplus with the US.  There are plenty of business opportunities there for him and his friends.  Increasing the standard of living in Cuba can help prevent immigration.  In other words, there is every reason, from Trump’s perspective, to improve relations, and no reason to stop.  Expect this issue to die quietly.

Trump Versus the World: Iraq

Imagine that you are the Prime Minister of Iraq.  You are the head of a political system that was imposed by the invading Americans.  A substantial, but diminishing, part of your country is controlled by IS.  The Kurds are your nominal allies in the battle against IS, but their ultimate objective is independence.  The Turks want a slice of your country.  Iranian influence is very strong, but is opposed by everyone else.  A political solution satisfactory to both Shias and Sunnis is nowhere in sight, but is essential if your country is ever to operate as a functional whole.

Now, add to the mix a new American President who was bitterly critical of the invasion after the fact and continues to say that the US should take Iraq’s oil.   In all likelihood, the best you can hope for is a victory over IS before he takes office, and indifference thereafter.  It is, alas, much more likely that the chaos in your country will simply morph into different forms after the demise of IS, and you will no longer be able to rely on America for help.

Good luck:  you’re going to need it.

Trump Versus the World: Turkey

For Erdogan, Trump’s election creates a truly historic opportunity.  Expect him to take full advantage of it.

At some point during the next year, I anticipate that there will be a deal made by the Trump Administration, Putin, and Erdogan, to consist of the following:

  1. Assad will remain in power in Syria indefinitely.  Elections will be held as a face-saving measure.
  2. Erdogan is given a free hand to deal with all of his enemies.  This will include Kurdish military and political entities in Turkey, Syria, and Iraq.
  3. The US agrees to deport Gulen.
  4. All of the parties agree to work together to destroy IS in Syria and Iraq.  The “caliphate” will barely exist at that point, anyway.
  5. All Iranian advisers are sent home, and Hezbollah troops are required to leave the country.

This will be presented by all of the parties as a huge victory over terrorists and Iran.  The big losers, of course, will be the remaining non-IS rebels in Syria and the Kurds everywhere, but Trump will view the Kurds as history’s losers, and will have no reservations about selling them out.  Democracy in Turkey will wither away; the real winner will be the authoritarian state.

On Lost Golden Ages

The economy was roaring in 2000.  Unemployment was negligible, the DJIA was doing well, and the federal government was running a large surplus.  Wages were increasing at a rate not seen in years.  The US had no serious rivals abroad. It was a golden age, but nobody recognized it, because everyone’s attention was fixed on Bill Clinton, Monica, and the GOP.  We elected George W. Bush, and you know how that turned out.

Today, the unemployment rate is below 5 percent, the DJIA is at record levels, interest rates, gas prices, and inflation are very low, wages are finally beginning to increase at an acceptable rate, and we aren’t engaged in any large-scale land wars.  And so, we just elected a chaos agent.

I guess it figures.  What were those Joni Mitchell lyrics again?

Trump Versus the World: Saudi Arabia

For the Saudis, a Trump Administration is like the proverbial box of chocolates: they just don’t know what they’re getting.

On the one hand, Trump, like Obama but unlike Clinton, has openly expressed doubts about the kingdom’s value as an ally.  He has indicated that he would demand large payments from them for protection, and he clearly intends to abandon their Sunni surrogates in Syria.  On the other hand, he has also suggested that he plans to renegotiate the Iran nuclear deal, a course of action that could very well lead to a war between the US and the Saudis’ chief nemesis.

Which way will this go?  In all likelihood, Trump hasn’t given the issue much thought, so if he doesn’t know, neither does anyone else.  My guess is that the outcome will be dictated largely by his choice of advisers.  If he surrounds himself with members of the Republican foreign policy establishment, the Saudis will have less reason for concern.

Trump Versus the World: Iran

Trump’s immediate priority is to get rid of IS.  Iran is an uneasy ally in that battle, so I would not expect him to take any immediate action on the nuclear deal after he takes office.  Once IS is gone, however, things may change.

Trump can’t expect any help from any of the other parties to the deal in the renegotiation process, so crippling sanctions are no longer a viable option.  The only credible threat he can make is war.  And what kind of war would that be? An invasion similar to Iraq, only on a much larger scale?  Given his after-the-fact position on the Iraq War, why would anyone take that seriously?

No, the most plausible threat he could make would be a nuclear strike.   Don’t be shocked if that happens.

The Wizard of Oz in 2016

Sarah Palin, Marco Rubio, Paul Ryan, and Rick Perry have just left LaGuardia Airport.  They get into a cab.

CD:  Where are you going, folks?

PR:  Trump Tower, please.

SP:  We’re off to see the Wizard!

CD:  Huh?

SP:  He channeled the anger of all real Americans and got elected President. They call him the Wizard of Id.

RP:  What, like the old cartoon?  I don’t get it.

PR:  Of course you don’t.  That’s why you need his help.

The cab driver takes them through multi-cultural neighborhoods in Brooklyn.

SP:  Look at all of those strange people!  They don’t look like real Americans to me.  I bet not a one of them has ever shot a moose from a snowmobile.

MR:  You’re not in Alaska anymore, Sarah.

SP:  You betcha!

They pass a group of young men hanging out on a street corner.

PR:  Look at those lazy bums!  They’re just taking advantage of the hammock of dependency!  We need to cut their benefits, now!

MR:  Don’t you ever take a day off, Paul?

PR:  Never!  I can’t rest until I’ve taken away all of the benefits for the undeserving poor.  We need the money for the tax cuts for rich people, anyway.

MR:  Well, they don’t vote for us, so let it rip.

They arrive at Trump Tower, enter the building, and address the receptionist.

SP:  We’re here to see the Wizard!

R:  Who are you?

SP:  Four Republican celebrities!

R:  I’ll let him know you’re here.

Trump descends the famous gold escalator about fifteen minutes later.

DT:  You’re here to ask favors of me.  What do you want?

MR:  Courage!

RP:  A brain!

PR:  A heart!

SP:  To go back to Alaska!

DT:  You’re asking a lot of me.  He thinks for a minute, then turns to Perry and gives him a piece of paper.

RP:  What’s this?

DT:  A certificate of completion from Trump University.

RP:  Will that prove I’m smart?

DT:  Let me put it this way:  it’s worthless, but lots of people paid for it, and you got it for nothing.  That makes you smart.

RP:  Thank you, Mr. Wizard!

PR:  What about me?

DT:  Well, if you’ll agree with me to put off any cuts to Social Security and Medicare, you’ll prove you have a heart.  It’s in our best interests politically, anyway, so it doesn’t cost you anything.

PR:  OK.  Thank you, Mr. Wizard!

MR:  And me?

Trump hands him a small box.

MR:  A box of condoms!  What does it mean?

DT:  You had the nerve to make fun of my size during one of the debates.  It proves you have courage.  Or, at least, you did for a short time.  Consider this a memento.

MR:  Thank you, Mr. Wizard!

SP:  And me?

DT:  Don’t you want to go back to Kansas?

SP:  No, Sam Brownback has run that state into the ground.  I just want to go home to Wasilla.

DT:  OK, you can have a ride on my private plane.

SP:  Thank you, Mr. Wizard!  Isn’t that expensive?

DT:  Don’t worry about it.  My accountants will figure out a way to write it off.  It’s not like I pay taxes or anything.

Trump returns to his office on the escalator.  The others leave happy.