It is 5:00 on December 24. Bob Cratchit is working in his cubicle at Scrooge LLC when the boss, in “managing by walking around” mode, comes by.
BC: Mr. Scrooge, sir.
S: What is it (looks for nameplate on the cubicle) . . .Cratchit?
BC: Can I please have tomorrow off, sir?
S: Why?
BC: Why, it’s Christmas, sir.
S: Not in China, it isn’t. How am I supposed to compete with those people and their low labor costs if I give people free time off? As it is, Obama is killing me with taxes and regulations.
BC: It’s just one day of the year, sir. It’s important for me to be with my family. I have a special needs child, you know.
Scrooge peers into the cubicle again and sees a photo of Tiny Tim.
S: Is that him?
BC: Yes, sir.
Scrooge hobbles around the office with an exaggerated limp.
BC: He’s in really bad shape, sir. Why are you making fun of him?
S: I don’t have time for that political correctness crap.
BC: You sound just like Donald Trump.
S: Yes, it’s about time that someone who understands my problems ran for President. He’s a winner, you know. He’ll get rid of all of those new taxes and regulations and show people like me some respect.
BC: What about health insurance? Obamacare has been a lifesaver for Tiny Tim.
S: He’ll get rid of that, too. In this country you have to earn your health care. Stand up for yourself and be a rugged individual!
BC: But about Christmas?
S: Oh, I suppose it would be a violation of some stupid federal regulation if I don’t give you the day off. But you can work from home, so keep your phone on–I will send you some spreadsheets to analyze.
He thinks for a minute.
S: Hey, there’s an idea! You could be an independent contractor. . .