CBS unveiled a new program called “FBI” this week. Under ordinary circumstances, nothing could be more banal than a program portraying FBI agents as brilliant, selfless public servants keeping the country safe; in today’s world, however, any positive picture of the FBI has to be viewed as a political statement.
In light of that, I found myself wondering what kind of programming Fox could run to satisfy Trump’s base. Here are some thoughts:
1. Frackin’ Up! Drama about heroic workers in fossil fuel industries trying to give America energy dominance in spite of government overregulation.
2. Real American Family: A family consisting solely of straight white Christians does battle with politically correct neighbors. Starring Roseanne Barr.
3. Wall Street Blues: Young bankers struggle to survive in New York on a salary of only $1 million.
4. Build That Wall! Game show in which the best wall builder wins cash and prizes.
5. My Favorite Russian: Hilarious comedy about a bromance between purely fictional Russian and American presidents.
6. ICE: Heroic federal agents catch and deport Muslim terrorists disguised as Central American women and children. Starring Chuck Norris.
And, of course,
7. Deep State: Brilliant political outsider is elected president and takes on the smug, corrupt elite. Guest appearances by Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton, and James Comey. Special guest appearance by Bob Mueller. Starring Brad Pitt.
Well, in his dreams, anyway.