Trump announced today that he was imposing tough new tariffs on the Vatican. When asked why, he explained that he had to do something about the Vatican’s huge trade surplus. The tariff would make America rich again.
Pope Leo protested, noting that the Vatican had no manufacturing, and that the trade surplus came purely from religious tourism. Trump responded by demanding that the Vatican buy American fighter jets for two purposes: to eliminate the deficit; and to prepare for an international crusade to be led by American believers against seculars, Muslims, Hindus, and Buddhists.