C: Do you know why you’re here?
S: To talk about Brandon?
C: I suppose you have one of those flags?
S: You bet! I have a t-shirt, too! I thought about wearing it today, but I figured it would piss you off.
C: You figured right. Am I safe in assuming that you think Biden is the worst president ever, and that Trump would be infinitely better?
S: Absolutely!
C: We’re going to deconstruct that opinion. Where, in your view, has Biden failed the country?
S: Where do I begin? We’ll start with Ukraine. He hasn’t been tough enough on Putin.
C: So says a supporter of the man who called Putin a genius just before he invaded, who openly said he believed Putin over his own intelligence services, and who withheld weapons from Ukraine in an effort to blackmail its president. Biden has sent billions of dollars of weapons to Ukraine.
S: Trump didn’t mean any of that stuff. He just sucked up to Putin in an effort to keep him under control. When Biden stopped doing it, trouble began.
C: So you think appeasing Putin is the way to keep him happy?
S: Only if Trump does it. He’s the only one who can keep him under control.
C: Let’s move on. What else?
S: Afghanistan, man. The way we left there was a disgrace.
C: But Biden was just following an agreement signed by Trump.
S: Trump didn’t mean it. He would have bombed the crap out of those people, and things would have been different.
C: How do you know that? Even assuming that Trump would have broken his own agreement, how would bombing have helped once the Taliban had persuaded the Afghan military to give up?
S: The Taliban would have been too scared of him to challenge him. He’s a bad dude, you know.
C: Yeah, right. What else?
S: Inflation is terrible. We didn’t have that under Trump.
C: How did Biden cause supply chain problems?
S: He and the Democrats spent way too much money. That’s the reason we have inflation.
C: What, like the stimulus payment?
S: Yeah.
C: Do you realize that Trump supported the stimulus?
S: I don’t believe it.
C: It’s true. And would you give yours back in exchange for a slightly lower rate of inflation?
S: Of course not. My stimulus payment wasn’t the problem. It was the payments to the other, undeserving people that caused inflation.
C: This is getting more entertaining by the minute. Anything else?
S: Joe Biden is way too woke. Trump would take care of that.
C: I will admit that a small portion of the Democratic Party is woke, and that Trump definitely isn’t. I would like to know, however, what exactly Biden has done that was woke. He’s an old white guy, after all.
S: He appointed that black woman to the Supreme Court. Trump wouldn’t have done that.
C: Point conceded. However, there would have been no vacancy to fill if Trump were president. Breyer wouldn’t have retired.
S: Biden’s still woke, because his party is. He has to take responsibility for everything his party says and does, because he’s the boss.
C: So, by that standard, Trump is a white Christian nationalist who murders black people in Buffalo and tries to overthrow the elected government.
S: We’re done here.