It is 5:00 on December 24. Bob Cratchit is working in his cubicle at Scrooge LLC when the boss, in “managing by walking around” mode, comes by.
BC: Mr. Scrooge, sir.
S: What is it (looks for nameplate on the cubicle) . . . Cratchit?
BC: Can I please have tomorrow off, sir?
S: Why?
BC: Why, it’s Christmas, sir.
S: Not in China, it isn’t. How am I supposed to compete with those people and their low labor costs if I give people free time off? As it is, Obama is killing me with taxes and regulations.
BC: It’s just one day of the year, sir. It’s important for me to be with my family. I have a special needs child, you know.
Scrooge peers into the cubicle again and sees a photo of Tiny Tim.
S: Is that him?
BC: Yes, sir.
Scrooge hobbles around the office with an exaggerated limp.
BC: He’s in really bad shape, sir. Why are you making fun of him?
S: I don’t have time for that political correctness crap.
BC: You sound just like Donald Trump.
S: Yes, and thank God he won! He’s going to get rid of all of those taxes and regulations and make me–er, America–great again!
BC: What about our health insurance? Obamacare has been a lifesaver for Tiny Tim.
S: He’ll get rid of that, too. In this country you have to earn your health care. The strong survive, and the weak die! That’s the way it should be.
BC: But what about Christmas?
S: Oh, I suppose it would be a violation of some stupid federal regulation if I don’t give you the day off–at least as long as Obama’s still in office. But you can work from home, so keep your phone on–I will send you some spreadsheets to analyze.
He thinks for a minute.
S: Hey, there’s an idea! You could be an independent contractor. . .
I’ll be on vacation until December 30, so posting will be sporadic at best until then. Merry Christmas!