(It’s 5:00 on December 24. Bob Cratchit is working in his cubicle at Scrooge, LLC when the boss, in “managing by walking around” mode, comes by.)
C: Mr. Scrooge, sir.
S: What is it . . . (looks at the nameplate in the cubicle) . . . Cratchit?
C: Can I have tomorrow off, sir?
S: Why in the world would I do that?
C: Why . . . because it’s Christmas, sir.
S: Not in China, it isn’t. How am I supposed to compete with those people and their low labor costs if I give you unnecessary days off?
C: Well, actually, the Chinese get a whole week off for Chinese New Year. We shouldn’t be working on site this year, anyway. I might get the virus and give it to my special needs child.
S: (Sees a picture of Tiny Tim in the cubicle) Is that him?
C: Yes, sir.
(Scrooge walks around the office with an exaggerated limp)
C: There’s nothing funny about it, sir! He’s in really bad shape!
S: I don’t have time for that political correctness crap.
C: You sound just like Donald Trump, sir.
S: Trump is right about some things. I will miss him on occasion. Mostly, I won’t.
C: Why? Didn’t I see you wearing a MAGA hat?
S: That’s only because I hate socialism. I still have Mitch to protect me, and I won’t have to worry about Trump’s capriciousness and tariffs anymore. It’s the best of all worlds, politically speaking.
C: So, you don’t believe in the fraud stuff, and you don’t support martial law?
S: Certainly not. Those people are nuts. We don’t need the uncertainty. It’s time to move on.
C: You know that Biden is very pro-labor. There will be lots of new regulations.
S: Yeah, and that’s why I’m going to give you your day off. Sort of. There will be a Zoom meeting at noon. I’ll text you the password.
C: Thank you, sir!
S: And don’t even think about ghosting me!
(Cratchit packs up and leaves)