Sebastian here. I’ve just returned from one of those big pool parties you saw on network TV. Since the whole world seems to be down on us, I thought I should explain why I think that’s OK.
Three things made this country great: freedom; rugged individuals; and God. The lockdown orders and the wimpy masks are an affront to all three. Their impact on individual freedom is obvious; they just encourage people to be wimps, instead of strong and self-reliant real Americans; and they encourage people to look to the government, not God, for a solution to the virus problem. Hell, you can’t even go to church in some places! Is that outrageous, or what!
I’m just going to keep on exercising the freedoms my ancestors fought to win for me whether you like it or not. That’s what this country is all about. You don’t have veto power over my rights. If I get the virus, I’ll face it like a man, and not count on the damn government to help me out. If you’re afraid of it, and you think I might give it to you, you can just use your freedom to stay at home or wear a wimpy mask. Just don’t expect me, or any other real American, to give up our God-given rights to protect you, because that’s not the American way.