Lindsey Graham is doing a victory lap in the Oval Office.
T: Linseed! Why are you here?
G: To congratulate you on your latest victory, of course!
T: What, higher gas prices? Plunging markets?
G: Those are just transitory. They’ll be over soon. The Iranians are about to surrender. They just don’t know it yet.
T: But what do I do next? The base doesn’t want a ground war, but the Saudis and Israelis are demanding one. I don’t have any good options.
G: You are MAGA, sir. You decide what’s right. The base will follow you wherever you go. They owe it to you, after all.
T: Why?
G: Because you made it ok for them to openly hate everything that isn’t real America, and you’re punishing that part on a daily basis. Soon blue America will look like the occupied Confederacy after the Civil War. What could be more satisfying than that?
T: You’re probably right about that.
G: The base hates Iran. After the Iranians bend the knee to you, they’ll be pushing for a place on Mount Rushmore for you.
T: Personally, I think I should have a mountain all to myself.
G: Great idea! After all, this Iran problem has been around forever. You were the only one with the guts to do anything about it.
T: Even Reagan let it slip by. He even sold them arms. I only let them sell oil during wartime to keep the price down.
G: Don’t worry about that, sir. The price will come down as soon as you say so, and the stock market will soar. Investors know how great you are.
T: I hope you’re right. If you’re wrong, the radical left will win the election, and I’ll probably get impeached again.
G: I am. Trust me. Trust me.