(It’s 5:00 on December 24. Bob Cratchit is working in his cubicle at Scrooge, LLC when the boss, in “managing by walking around” mode, comes by.
C: Mr. Scrooge, sir.
S: What is it . . . (he looks at the nameplate on the cubicle) . . . Cratchit?
C: Can I have tomorrow off, sir?
S: Why in the world would I do that?
C: Why . . . because it’s Christmas, sir.
S: Not in China, it isn’t. How am I supposed to compete with those people and their low labor costs if I give you unnecessary days off?
C: Well, actually, the Chinese get a whole week off for Chinese New Year. We never should have come back to the office, anyway. The worst of the pandemic might be over, but the virus is still out there, and I might get sick and give it to my child. He has special needs, you know.
S: (Sees a picture of Tiny Tim in the cubicle) Is that him?
C: Yes, sir.
(Scrooge walks around the office with an exaggerated limp)
C: There’s nothing funny about it, sir! He’s in really bad shape! If he gets the virus, it could kill him!
S: I don’t have time for that political correctness crap.
C: You sound just like Donald Trump, sir.
S: No, I don’t. I have nothing to do with him. He’s totally out of control. His time has come and gone. He has nothing to offer people like me.
C: Well, DeSantis then.
S: DeSantis is strong on wokeness, but not on tax cuts. They’re more important. I don’t completely trust him. I’ll support him if he’s the nominee, but he’s not my first choice.
C: Who would that be?
S: Rick Scott. Unlike Trump, who believes that he alone made America great, Scott understands that people like me made America great. Without entrepreneurs, this country is nothing. Just ask Elon Musk.
C: What about people like me?
S: You just draft off my awesomeness. You could be replaced in a heartbeat–at least, you could if we had a normal labor market. Biden and the pandemic have given you workers way too much power. Enjoy it while it last, because it won’t.
C: What about Christmas?
S: If I don’t give you the day off, Biden will probably send his jackbooted thugs down here to harass me. He might even try to persuade you drones to unionize.
C: So I get the day off?
S: Sort of. There will be a Zoom meeting at noon. I’ll text you the password.
C: Thank you, sir!
S: Don’t even think about ghosting me!
(Cratchit leaves)