C: So, how do you guys feel about the GOP’s prospects for the midterms?
M: Great! The red wave arrives on November 8!
S: Great! We’re going to change everything! We’re going to burn it down!
M: Oh, God! Not that again!
C: What exactly do you mean by “burn it down?” What will the new GOP majority in the House actually do?
S: Well, first of all, we’ll pass a resolution saying the 2020 election was rigged, and that Trump is lawfully president.
M: Good luck with that. You won’t get a majority of the House to vote for it. You certainly won’t get the support of the Senate. And it would mean nothing, legally.
S: Next, we’ll pass a national ban on abortion. The bitches are out of control. We need to show them who’s boss, and get the blue states back under control.
M: You probably can’t get a House majority for that. In any event, Mitch won’t agree to abolish the filibuster when he knows Biden will veto it. And by the way, the “bitches,” as you call them, have the vote.
S: Next, we’ll start the impeachments, starting with Biden and Garland.
M: Blunders aren’t high crimes and misdemeanors. That would be a political disaster. It will turn all the swing voters against us for 2024.
S: Finally, we’ll demand huge cuts in spending on everyone except white Christians in exchange for lifting the debt ceiling. If Biden won’t budge, we’ll burn the markets down!
M: That’s what really worries me. Are you trying to destroy my investments?
S: They’re not my problem, bro. If rich elitists lose money, what concern is that of mine? It won’t impact me. I don’t have any investments. BURN IT DOWN!
M: I’m a car dealer, not a rich elitist. So are lots of other Republicans.
S: Doesn’t matter. Rich people are all the same to me. They all want to screw me over.
C: Mark, what do you think the GOP should do, once in power?
M: Leverage the debt ceiling to make the Trump individual tax cuts permanent. We need more incentives to get the economy moving.
S: See, you’re just a self-serving RINO. You won’t burn it down because you have too much to lose! Real Republicans don’t act like that. We know the system is completely corrupt, and has to be destroyed and rebuilt from scratch.
M: I think we’re done here.