Lindsey Graham is back in the Oval Office just before the SOTU.
G: So what can we expect from the speech this year?
T: The usual. It will be a list of all of my wins over the last year. It will be a long speech.
G: Are you sure that’s a good idea after you lost the tariff case?
T: I won the tariff case, Linseed. I always win, because I’m a winner. You forget that sometimes.
G: True. Remind me—how did you win the case?
T: The Court gave me lots of options for new tariffs. We’re already working on them.
G: What about the refunds?
T: Forget it. Not happening.
G: What are you going to say about the economy? The numbers look just like Biden’s in 2024.
T: Not even close. We have the greatest economy in history.
G: The numbers don’t support that.
T: You must be watching the fake news again. America is great again, and things will only get better. There will be an AI model with my name on it. It will change the game completely.
G: What about affordability? The Democrats are beating us upon that one.
T: More fake news. I’ve already solved it. And the big news is that the market’s way up. Investors love me. That’s what really matters.
G: Not to people who don’t own stock. What will you say about Iran? Are we going to war?
T: Maybe. We’ll see. You never know. (Graham leaves)