(It’s 5:00 on December 24. Bob Cratchit is working in his cubicle at Scrooge, LLC when the boss, in “managing by walking around” mode, comes by.)
C: Mr. Scrooge, Sir.
S: What is it . . . (he ostentatiously looks at the nameplate on the cubicle) . . . Cratchit?
C: Can I have tomorrow off, Sir?
S: Why in the world would I do that?
C: Why . . . because it’s Christmas, Sir.
S: Not in China, it isn’t. How am I supposed to compete with those people and their low labor costs if I give people like you unnecessary days off?
C: Actually, the Chinese get a whole week off for Chinese New Year to enjoy time with their families. I totally get that. I have a special needs child who may not have long to live. I need to spend as much time with him as I can while he’s still here.
S: (Sees a picture of Tiny Tim in the cubicle) Is that him?
C: Yes, Sir.
(Scrooge walks around the office with an exaggerated limp)
C: There’s nothing funny about it, sir! He’s in really bad shape!
S: I don’t have time for that political correctness crap.
C: You sound just like Donald Trump, Sir.
S: Don’t mention that man’s name to me.
C: Why not? You said you voted for him last year.
S: I only voted for him because the alternative was higher taxes and regulations. That man is wrecking my business with his tariffs. He wants to be the CEO of the entire country, but he couldn’t even run a casino. He keeps ordering me to suck up to him. The only good thing he’s done is deregulate AI.
C: Why are you so bullish on AI?
S: Because it will cut my costs dramatically. I won’t have to hire drones like you who are always making demands on me.
C: But what about Christmas?
S: AI hasn’t progressed to the point where I can get rid of the likes of you. At some point, it will, but for now, I have to keep you people reasonably happy. Otherwise, you’ll vote for some stupid liberal in 2028, and I’ll really be screwed.
C: So I get the day off?
S: Sort of. There will be a Zoom meeting at noon. I’ll text you the password.
C: Thank you, Sir!
S: And don’t even think about ghosting me!