Trump is in the Oval Office when Xi Jinping enters, looking for all the world like a pathetic character from a Dickens novel, on his hands and knees.
XI: Please, Sir.
DT: Oh, it’s you. I’ve been expecting you.
XI: A word, Sir?
DT: What is it, Chinaman? I haven’t got all day. “Fox and Friends” is on in a few minutes.
XI: It’s about the tariffs, Sir.
DT: Of course it is. That’s why I imposed them. What do you want?
XI: (Crawling closer to the Resolute Desk) Please lift them, Sir. I’ll do whatever you want.
DT: It’s about time.
XI: You were right, Sir. You’re always right. And you’re the boss. I know that now.
DT: Damn right I’m the boss.
XI: I’ll do whatever you say, Sir. I’ll kiss your feet.
DT: Prove it. (Xi kisses his foot)
DT: That’s more like it. Now go away. Maybe I’ll lift the tariffs, and maybe I won’t. We’ll see. (Xi leaves)
And then Trump wakes up and finds out that none of this is true.