(It’s 5:00 on December 24. Bob Cratchit is working in his cubicle at Scrooge, LLC when the boss, in “managing by walking around” mode, comes by.”
C: Mr. Scrooge, sir.
S: What is it . . . (he ostentatiously looks at the nameplate on the cubicle) . . .Cratchit?
C: Can I have tomorrow off, sir?
S: Why in the world would I do that?
C: Why . . . because it’s Christmas, sir.
S: Not in China, it isn’t. How am I supposed to compete with those people and their low labor costs if I give people like you unnecessary days off?
C: Actually, the Chinese get a whole week off for Chinese New Year. We should never have come back to the office, anyway. The pandemic might officially be over, but the virus is still out there, and I might get sick and give it to my child. He has special needs, you know.
S: (Sees a picture of Tiny Tim in the cubicle) Is that him?
C: Yes, sir.
(Scrooge walks around the office with an exaggerated limp)
C: There’s nothing funny about it, sir! He’s in really bad shape! If he gets the virus, it could kill him!
S: I don’t have time for that political correctness crap.
C: You sound just like Donald Trump, sir.
S: Well, Trump isn’t wrong about everything. That’s why he won the election.
C: And I suppose you voted for him.
S: With some reluctance, yes.
C: Why were you reluctant?
S: Because I hate the idea of his tariffs, and I know he’ll make people like me suck up to him every day of his life. He’s too capricious to be trusted. He does everything for the benefit of his own ego, not my bottom line.
C: Then why did you vote for him?
S: Because Biden and Harris were worse, and because he promised to keep my taxes low. I can trust him on that. Plus, the deregulation part is excellent, and keeping Elon around is a great idea.
C: Do you really think Elon cares about people like you?
S: He genuinely hates regulations. He may be more concerned about his own interests than people like me, but he’ll do his best for entrepreneurs in general. I’m confident of that. I just hope Trump doesn’t run him off before he can finish the deregulation job.
C: So what about Christmas?
S: Biden’s still in charge for now, and his regulations are still in place. If I don’t give in, he might use his last month in office to get you people to unionize. And Vance might go along with that. I don’t trust him, either. Why couldn’t Trump have picked someone like Rick Scott as his VP?
C: So I get the day off?
S: Sort of. There will be a Zoom meeting at noon. I’ll text you the password.
C: Thank you, sir!
S: And don’t even think about ghosting me!