Lindsey Graham has once again made the pilgrimage to Mar-a-Lago. Trump is feeling good about all those recent polls, so he keeps Graham waiting for an hour and a half.
T: Linseed! Good to see you! How about those polls!
G: They do look good, Mr. President.
T: And I told you I would kick DeSanctus’ butt. I’m not sure you believed me.
G: He was a far worse candidate than I expected. He chased the wrong voters and chose positions on issues like abortion that either made no sense or were unpopular.
T: He thought the base would respect him if he just said he agreed with me on everything. He thought Jack Smith would deliver the election to him, and he wouldn’t have to fight for anything. He didn’t know Jack, in more ways than one.
G: But you still have to worry about the criminal trials.
T: Nothing to worry about. I’m so much smarter than those prosecutors, it would make your head spin. Besides, they’re making my case to the voters.
G: Why do you say that?
T: Instead of having to travel around the country and make speeches at rallies about what a victim I am, I get to do it on the stand. Every time I show up at a courtroom, it just proves how evil the deep state is, and how determined it is to get me. The base loves that. It rallies around me and sends me more money. It’s great!
G: Plus, the MSM covers your martyrdom instead of those speeches where you talk about putting Democrats in jail and creating concentration camps for illegal immigrants. That helps, too.
T: We’ll focus on that stuff later.
G: Aren’t you worried about being convicted? Some of the polls show that would matter to the voters.
T: I’m not just an average guy. I’m bulletproof. I’ve gotten out of plenty of tight legal spots before. My lawyers will always be able to find at least one Trump voter in the jury pool. Anyway, I can pardon myself after I win the election if the lawyers let me down.
G: You can’t pardon yourself for violations of state law.
T: My lawyers and my Supreme Court will take care of that.
G: Are you going to do any debates?
T: Not until the general. I have no reason to do them now.
G: Aren’t you concerned at all about Haley? What if she unites the part of the party that hates you? It’s about half of the voters, you know.
T: Republican voters are not going to choose a brown woman who took orders from me over the man who promises to be their retribution.
G: Are you serious about that retribution stuff? It makes you sound like a dictator.
T: You know me. I’m always telling jokes. Just like the ones about January 6.
(Graham leaves)