I, of course, have no idea what Biden and McCarthy said at their meeting a few days ago. Here’s what they should have said:
B: Kevin! Good to see you! How’s life hanging out with MTG?
M: It’s better than being with AOC.
B: AOC’s not crazy. She never said anything about Jewish death rays.
M: Got me there. Got anything else for me?
B: A plan, or at least a process. It saves America and lets you keep your job. I know the latter is more important to you than the former.
M: I’m all ears.
B: The premise behind this is that you can’t possibly deliver any kind of reasonable compromise without losing your job, which is of the utmost importance to you.
M: I won’t deny it.
B: With that in mind, we will spend the next week or so throwing out ideas to make a deal with your more moderate members. You will strain every nerve to keep them in line, of course. If we can make the deal, so much the better, but my guess is that you probably win on that.
M: Probably. Then what?
B: I tell America the Fourteenth Amendment, along with morality and good sense, requires me to pay the bills. We meet all of our obligations in the usual way.
M: I would oppose that, of course. I would be outraged.
B: Of course you would! But what can you and your caucus do? Are you really going to sue to stop the government from making Social Security payments? Are you really that suicidal? Even your craziest members would have concerns about that.
M: Some of them will want to sue, anyway. They really want to burn it down.
B: I don’t think it will be a majority. If it isn’t, the game’s over, because no private plaintiff is going to have standing. If you do sue, however, the Court will find that it is a political question and that it doesn’t have jurisdiction.
M: Maybe. So you win! How does this help me?
B: You get to stand firm against me. You never have to accept a division in your party. The crazoids stay in your camp.
M: It’s an interesting concept. We’ll see how it plays out. (He leaves)