When Biden Meets MBS

Biden has arrived at the palace. MBS is there to greet him.

MBS: Mr. President, at long last! Welcome!

B: It’s good to be here.

MBS: Of course, Trump got here long before you did.

B: Look on the bright side. You don’t have to entertain me with that weird orb thing.

MBS: Trump liked it. And he was a good friend to us, at least most of the time.

B: To me, Trump’s relationship with you was a bit like a passionate, but bad, marriage. With me, it will be strictly business.

MBS: Ok. Fine. You want to talk business. I assume that means us pumping more oil.

B: Right.

MBS: Why should we do that? Not just for you, surely.

B: It will gain you the goodwill of the American people–my party, in particular. You could use some goodwill after the murder thing.

MBS: I have a different idea.

B: I’m all ears.

MBS: Why don’t you just agree not to sign any nuclear deals with the Iranians?

B: I haven’t signed anything yet.

MBS: That’s because you’re afraid of the political fallout. You really want to sign. We know you do.

B: If we don’t make a deal–even a bad one–with the Iranians, they’ll have an unacceptably short breakout period. Is that what you want?

MBS: Of course not.

B: Then, what’s your plan?

MBS: American air strikes, of course. It’s the only answer. It always was.

B: So you’re offering lower gas prices in exchange for a perpetual war between America and Iran?

MBS: Sounds like a good deal for me. You go up in the polls, and we get Iran under control.

B: That’s crazier than killing journalists. Do you really think I would agree to go to war just for a bump in the polls?

MBS: Sure! That’s what democratic politicians do. I don’t have that problem.

B: Well, I do, but I’m not going to start a war just for a bump in the polls. That’s not how we do it in America.

MBS: I bet Trump would do it.

B: Maybe, but he’s an outlier.

MBS: Is he? He looks pretty mainstream America to me.

B: Well, forget it. Think about the goodwill offer. You’re going to need the support of my party in the future. Without us, you don’t have any security against the Iranians.

MBS: I’ll think about it. (Biden leaves)

A note to my readers: I will be out of town between 6/13 and 6/21. Regular posts will resume thereafter.