The Fake Interview Series: Macron

I’ve never interviewed Emmanuel Macron, and I probably never will. If I did, however, it would go something like this:

(I enter Macron’s office in the Elysee Palace, where he is waiting for me)

C: Before I start, M. Le President, I have to say, this is a gorgeous office. Particularly that desk there . . .

M: Ne le touchez pas! That desk was old when the Sun King was alive!

C: Actually, that’s a good segue to my first question. To paraphrase Sarah Palin, how’s that Jupiterian thing working out for you?

M: Well, I won the election, didn’t I?

C: True. But do you attribute that to your winning personality or to your record and the weakness of your opponent?

M: Mostly the latter. The French people want someone who can solve their problems, not someone who just screams about them.

C: It seems to me that the French people always want something different than what they have.

M: There’s some truth to that, but the French are not unique in that respect. America went from Obama to Trump, after all.

C: There is a lot of international concern about the political health of France even though you won fairly comfortably. After all, Le Pen got 41 percent of the vote. Do you think the concern is justified?

M: In part. It is possible that this is the high water mark for populism in France. We just don’t know at this point.

C: I have a theory that political systems are unstable when they lack responsible, well-defined parties on both the center-right and the center-left. Do you agree with that?

M: I think there is some validity to it.

C: Don’t you think that is a perfect description of where France is today? You occupy the entire center. That means anyone who is dissatisfied has to gravitate to the extremes.

M: Am I concerned about that? Yes. It would be much better if we had a plausible, responsible opposition.

C: What are you going to do about it?

M: That’s really an issue for the other political parties–not for me. My job is to deliver the goods for the public, not to figure out what the opposition should do.

C: What does Ukraine mean for your idea of European sovereignty? After all, America has been leading the way in the battle against Russia.

M: In the end, Russia is Europe’s problem. It always has been. We can’t just stop talking to them. We need a better way to resolve problems than war. That’s what European history was all about between 1945 and today.

C: What do you think ultimately happens with Ukraine?

M: We’ll have a deal that nobody likes. Russia will lick its wounds for a few years. We have to make sure they don’t try it again after that.

C: How do you do that?

M: By creating some new security machinery that provides the Russians with both carrots and sticks.

C: Will the Germans go along with that?

M: Good question. I’m working on that.

C: Merci for your time. (I leave)