Jake Sullivan has come to the White House to talk about Ukraine. Biden meets him in the Oval Office.
B: So, you’re here to talk about Vlad the Impaler?
S: Is there anything else?
B: He makes me miss Brezhnev and the boys. They were evil, but they weren’t crazy. You knew they weren’t going to take any big risks. They had too much to lose.
S: These aren’t your father’s Russians. Or the Russians of your early political life, if you don’t mind me implying you’re old.
B: With age comes wisdom. When do you think Putin will make the final decision on the invasion?
S: I’ll answer that with a question. When do you think Trump will make the final decision on running?
B: At the last minute. It keeps his options open and gives him the maximum amount of leverage within the party.
S: Exactly. So when do you think Putin will make his final decision?
B: I get it. At the last minute. Do you think there will be a coup attempt first?
S: Probably not. The Ukrainian military would crush it quickly. It might create confusion for a few minutes, but if it failed–and it would–it would make Putin look ineffectual. He wouldn’t like that. There will be cyberattacks and a disinformation campaign, though.
B: Zelensky keeps saying we shouldn’t talk about an imminent invasion. Do you agree?
S: We have different purposes. He thinks Putin is rational, and just wants to keep squeezing him. He may be right, but we can’t take that for granted. Our public comments are intended to deter Putin and avoid the worst case scenario.
B: I’m sick of just having to react to Putin and his malarkey. Is there anything we can do to take the initiative?
S: If this were a board game, we would threaten to attack Iran or Syria if Putin invades. That would make perfect sense. But we’re not playing a board game, and you don’t have the same powers that Putin does. All we can do is what we’re doing–name the price and make him pay it if he invades.
B: So, for now, we basically sit and wait and hope for the best?
S: There’s nothing else to do, except to keep everyone on our side on board. (He leaves)