(Donald Trump is wandering aimlessly around the White House when he is visited by the ghost of his father. He is elated. Help is on the way! It’s the deus ex machina!)
D: Dad! I’m so glad to see you! I need help! Things are bad! BAD!
F: I know, son.
D: But you can save the day, just like you did when you bought those casino chips, right?
F: America is not a casino, son. I’m here to tell you how disappointed I am in you. I brought you up to be a winner. You had every possible advantage. And now you’re a loser, in front of all of the world. You’re an embarrassment to the family. I can’t tell you how humiliated I am.
D: But they were all against me! Big Tech! The Big Media! The corrupt Democrats! And then there was the virus! There was nothing I could do!
F: The virus was an opportunity–you just didn’t see it. All you had to do was wear a mask and pretend that you cared about people. You couldn’t bring yourself even to put on an act. Now look where you are!
D: But you taught me that strength was the only thing that mattered! What else could I do?
F: There’s a difference between strength and stupidity. It’s the difference between winning and losing. Now, you’re a loser. You have to live with that for the rest of your life. And I have to live with it, too. I can’t stand it!
D: But, you’re dead! What do you really care?
F: I disown you. You’re as weak as your brothers. You let me down. Go back to one of your overpriced clubs and never ask for anything from me again!
(Fred disappears. Donald dissolves in a mass of self-pity.)