Those Obama bugs and cameras are still working! Here’s what really happened when Trump and Melania met Prince Charles and Camilla:
(Trump and Melania enter Buckingham Palace, where Charles and Camilla are waiting for them)
T: What’s up, Chuck!
C: Welcome to Buckingham Palace, Mr. President.
T: I hate to admit it, but this place is bigger than the White House. I need to talk to my budget people about that. It’s smaller than Trump Tower, though, and it has less gold.
C: Come on in, and have some tea.
T: I don’t drink tea, and I don’t eat those fussy sandwiches. I could use a Diet Coke, though.
(A servant brings him a can of Diet Coke. Trump opens it and starts guzzling it straight from the can. Unfortunately for him, he’s in the UK, so it’s warm.)
C: Did you sleep well, Mr. President?
T: Not at all! The problem with London is that there are no Trump hotels. I can’t sleep in that stupid embassy! The demonstrators don’t help, either.
C: You don’t like London?
T: No. It has too many old musty buildings, and not enough skyscrapers. You need to build more skyscrapers in the middle of downtown. I kind of like that new area, though.
C: Docklands?
T: Yeah, I guess that’s what it’s called. That’s more like a real American city.
C: You haven’t read my writings on architecture, have you?
T: I don’t have time to read anything except bullet points and sports stories.
C: Well, at least you got the best of our British weather.
T: Yeah, but it’s too cold for me. We need some of that good old global warming. My experts say it’s a Chinese hoax, you know.
C: Well, I guess you need to leave and work on your Normandy speech.
T: Yeah, it’s about how I would have won the war single-handedly if I had been alive back then.
C: We’re done here.
(They leave)