Donald Trump announced his plan to invade Canada at a rare news conference yesterday afternoon. He gave a variety of rationales for the invasion, including: Justin Trudeau had just pissed him off too many times; the invasion and subsequent annexation would eliminate our trade deficit with Canada; take the oil! take the oil! take the oil!; keeping the Stanley Cup in the US in perpetuity would help make America great again; every president is entitled to one foreign adventure; and annexing Canada would reduce America’s average daily temperature and thus help fight global warming, if it really exists.
Attorney General William Barr announced that, as a wartime measure, the internet would be censored, all TV networks except Fox News would be shut down, war opponents would be sent to Guantanamo Bay, and habeas corpus would be suspended. When asked about this, he explained that Lincoln had done more or less the same thing during the Civil War, and Trump was ten times the man that Lincoln was.
Twelve Republicans in the Senate formally complained about the invasion and the censorship, but their objections were ignored. The remainder privately expressed serious reservations about it, but chose to stay silent in public for fear of offending the base.