New York Values
“New York values,” Cruz would say.
Half the population’s gay.
“Superheroes” in Times Square.
Sex and crime are everywhere.
Take the subway, you’ll get mugged
By a drug-addicted thug.
It’s so godless and depraved
It’s too far gone to be saved.
But the time machine returns us to 2016.
Take a second look today.
“Hamilton” is on Broadway.
Music, sports, and dance are great.
Climb atop the Empire State.
Concert halls and fine museums
Nowhere else to go and see ’em.
Indices of vice are down
It’s America’s playground.
So sue me if I take offense
New York values excellence.
However. . .
Big hoops fans are out of luck
The Nets and Knicks, alas, still suck.
P.S. While all Republican candidates want to run against Jimmy Carter, Cruz is taking nostalgia to a new level: he wants to run against Al Smith.